The [not] secret holiday diaries of Emily Cobb,
aged [nearly] five,
June 2007.
Saturday.
Very hot and sunny. It was a long drive down to Dorset. I broke my record for how many times in one journey, I could say “are we there yet?” Once, Daddy said that we would be there when I had said it ten more times. He was telling fibber dibbers because I said “are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet?” and we still weren’t there. We stopped at the services for a Burger King, but Daddy had a KFC. I won a cuddly toy from a machine. We got to the caravan at half past four. When we had unpacked we went for a walk around the harbour and along the beach. I had a play on the play park near the caravan too.
Sunday.
Very hot and sunny. We went to the beach in the morning and it was already 25 degrees at ten o clock. Mummy got sunburn on her neck and shoulder. Me and Daddy kept paddling and going back to Mummy with stones we had found. Then we went to the supermarket to get some food for the week and had a little drive. When we got back I had a play at the play park.
In the evening, we walked around the harbour and went to the arcade. Daddy won me a Simpson’s cuddly.
Monday.
Warm and sunny. We went to Portland Castle. There were lots of cannons and a big dummy called Henry VIII. There was a room with old clothes in it and I was allowed to dress up like they did in the olden days. When we had finished Mummy and Daddy had a cup of tea and I had a milk shake. When the drinks and the bill arrived Mummy and Daddy confused the old Doris who was serving by deciding to have scones with jam and cream too. Daddy knows a lot of old people like her and they are all called Doris. It was a very popular name when old people were young. She worked out the scones order and brought them back, but forgot to bring the bill. Hot weather does make people forgetful and that’s why Mummy and Daddy forgot to ask for the bill. We finished our drinks and scones and left quite quickly. We went to the lighthouse. There were lots of displays inside and I got a dinosaur skeleton inside a block of stone. Me and Daddy are going to have to scrape and brush it until the bones come out, just like on Time Team. Then we went to another castle in Weymouth, called Nothe Fort. This wasn’t far away but it took a little while because Daddy took the scenic route so that I could see the marina from all four sides. There were lots of boats. Daddy reminded me to remind Nanny that we haven’t been on a boat with her and Granddad for a while. Nothe Fort was brilliant. The man said that I had to look for mice and he showed me where the first three were. As we walked around there were guns, models and all sorts of dummy’s dressed up [the exhibits, not the visitors, with one or two exceptions]. I counted 47 mice. One had a chef’s hat on, another one was on a man’s shoulder and there were even three blind mice. This was really good, but I didn’t like some of the darker tunnels underground. When we got back to the shop the man gave me a certificate and I bought a toy mouse. The man showed me a little box too and said there was a big scary mouse in it, but all I could see was my reflection in a mirror inside the box. There was no big mouse and it wasn’t funny. Daddy laughed when Mummy looked in the box and said the big scary mouse was there now, but I didn’t see it.
Tuesday
It was fine and dry, but the wind was a bit cold. We went to the Swanage Railway. We got on the train at Norden and went all the way to Swanage. I got some Thomas books and the Fat Controller in his car. We walked into the town and bought some sandwiches, which we took back to the station picnic area to eat. Then we got the train back to Norden. On the way we saw a Roe Deer and a Hen Harrier from the carriage window. I had a good play on the play area at Norden Station. It is all wooden and made to look like a train and carriages.
In the evening I played at the play park again before we walked around the harbour and the arcades. I won another Simpson cuddly, but it was the same one again. I beat Daddy at air hockey too.
Wednesday.
Went to the swimming pool in the morning. There was a big pool, but it wasn’t too deep, and there was a big pool just for little kids like me too. We kept playing in one pool and then in the other. I laughed at Daddy’s swimming shorts, because they keep filling up with air and I called him Fat Pants. Then we had some lunch at the caravan. We went to Lyme Regis in the afternoon, but didn’t stay too long because there were showers and Mummy doesn’t like getting wet, even though she spent the morning in the swimming pool. We did have time to look in the fossil shop. Mummy and Daddy got some little stones and something called a geo and I got a pretty stone keyring. We went to the arcade again after tea and I beat Daddy at air hockey again.
Thursday
Went to Clarks shopping village at Street. Mummy bought me lots of pink clothes with Barbie on them, which were really cheap. Daddy got a new drill and a strimmer. He also got some new swimming shorts, so no more fat pants. I got a pink sponge bob cuddly and some books.
On the way back we stopped at Lulworth cove. Me and Daddy did lots of paddling and stone collecting again.
We went to the beach after tea and collected lots more stones. Daddy found some white things that he thought were cuttlefish washed up on the beach, but he left them in case they were something the fishermen had thrown in the sea. Mummy got earache because the wind was blowing. Daddy got earache because Mummy had earache. On the way back to the caravan we won another Simpson’s cuddly and a key ring.
Friday.
Every morning we have been watching Springwatch on telly. This morning they were on a beach and found cuttlefish. Daddy had been right and wished he had collected some last night.
We were going to go back to Lyme Regis but there was a shower again so we turned back and had lunch at the caravan. Then the sun came out again so we had a walk around the harbour. There was a funny duck that Daddy said was a cormorant which caught and ate a fish. Then it caught a huge fish, but managed to swallow it. We went to the beach and collected some more stones and driftwood on the beach. A man had 8 pieces of cuttle fish, but we didn’t get any. In the arcade Daddy won a Simpson’s dog for me and Mummy won some sweets.
In the afternoon we went swimming again. With no Fat Pants to laugh at I concentrated on the swimming and found that with my armbands on I could swim about on my own if I tried really hard.
Daddy treated us to tea at the quayside café. On the way Mummy persuaded the man in the arcade to swap one of my Simpson’s, so I ended up with three different ones. And we won some more sweets and I beat Daddy at air hockey again.
When I had gone to bed, Daddy went to the beach and found some cuttlefish for me.
Saturday.
Daddy loaded everything into the car. The heaviest bag was his old sports bag full of our stones, driftwood and cuttlefish. It was a long journey home and after we had stopped for lunch I had a little snooze. Mummy and Daddy had been quite good to me all week, so I didn’t even ask “are we there yet?” more than a few times.